I am reflecting about the topic my mom brought up this morning, something related to a guy who was recently getting close to me. Throughout the conversation, I found something really precious. Something that refirm my stand and re-aim my goal.

In my 22 years of life, I have never been getting into serious relationship. I never commit with any love relationship so far. But, I almost fall twice but Alhamdulilah Allah saved me. 

For me, it took quite a long time to falling in love with somebody and took longer time to find a reason why I should stay with him. If I found no solid reason, I just walk out from his life immediately. I don’t think it was a cruel decision because I want to save both feelings and protect my iman. But, it was not as easy as said. However, what I always do is I just keep walking until my heart doesn’t feel anything

I don’t want to commit something unworthy and something that makes me distant from my Lord. I don’t want to throw myself in uncertainty. Allah doesn’t like haram relationship. So, I should do what Allah obligate me to do.

I couldn’t do something against Allah’s direction. My heart won’t be at ease. I need ease and peace in my life to keep me truly ‘living’ in this dunya.

May Allah guide me.

So back to the conversation, what made me felt my mom slapped me damn hurt with her words is a thought of  “am I too cheap and easy girl?” because of being nice to someone (opposite gender) who closes to me.

Being kind at wrong condition sometime could possibly lead to misconception. Being kind and flirting is different thing. I always being kind to those who makes me comfortable. But I never flirt anyone. I don’t even know how to make it. I am just being nice. That’s it.

In 2018, I hope I can learn how to control the way I treat people. 2018 is the year I will focus on me. To improve my self, inner and outer and I will strictly focus on self-betterment and do what I passion to do. I will love myself the way I want to be loved. That is all I wanna do this year. Loving and improving myself. InsyaAllah. 

Hope you guys have some goals in 2018 to be achieved. If you guys have some, may Allah helps you guys to reach your goal. Ameen.

Till the next time,


Thank you for leaving kind words. Deeply appreciated. May you have a good day too!